my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
did i just pee glitter
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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