The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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