So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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