I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
