I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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