Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
