your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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