i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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