I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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