i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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