After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
