Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
