I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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