Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
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New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We don't watch enough power rangers
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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