you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
