I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize