there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
