You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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