hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
