1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
there's paper in my vomit.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
