Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
