i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
