I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
