I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
