In the future we'll all be gay
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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