Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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