He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
