Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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