i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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