We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
