If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize