Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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