Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
