My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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