well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
