No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
