wakey wakey hands off snakey
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
im on a boat
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