you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
