When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
