i just google imaged poop.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize