i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
