so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
