ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
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I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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