turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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