Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
