We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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