Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
