We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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