Already got asked if we're dating
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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