you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
