what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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