omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize