i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
