when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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