if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I am spending my child support on dildos
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
