If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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